You don't love me
by Laurenmarie95
Summary: They were best friends. She fell for him, and he freaked out. She finally works up the nerve to look him in the eye. What will he think? And yes, im talking about bella and edward ALL-HUMAN. bella and edwardpov
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

**Prologue**

"I- I'm so sorry, but it's just-"he stuttered, but I couldn't listen to this anymore, I had to cut in. My eyes were bleary from tears and I felt like my legs would give out on me at any moment.

"Forget I said anything" I said, my voice breaking. I closed my eyes as I turned to walk away, letting a couple of tears spill over. I walked two steps before he caught me by the arm, spinning me around to face him. I couldn't look at him, I just closed my eyes again.

"I really am sorry, but I just don't want to ruin the friendship we have. I think its best if we stay this way." He said his voice apologetic.

I shook my head and tried to turn and run, the tears were flowing relentlessly by this point. But he wouldn't let me; he just put his arms around me, whispering 'sorry' in my ear. I couldn't be with him right now, I pushed him away and ran, I didn't no where I was going, but I just ran.

_______________________________________________________________________

**The beginning **

Now, here I sit on my back porch, thinking about the days when I had my best friend. I use to lean on Edward for everything. But I haven't spoken to him for 6 months, since that day. My life has nothing in it, no friends, and practically no family. My mum moved in with Phil her boyfriend, and Charlie doesn't even look at me.

Put it this way, my life, doesn't have meaning to it.

I sighed and got up, heading to my truck. School. Wonderful. That was the epicentre of my personal hell.

As I pulled up to the school Edwards silver Volvo entered the parking lot. I got out of my car, hoping no one would notice me. I walked quickly towards the entrance, but, ofcourse, being the klutz I am, I tripped, landing face first on the gravel. I picked myself up, by this point everyone was laughing and pointing. I turned quickly and ran for my biology class. The one class I had with Edward.

You'd think that I would hate him for everything that happened, but I was still recklessly in love with him. I just didn't bother trying to get his attention anymore.

_Not_ _like he would care anyway_ I thought.

I heard a chair scrape on the linoleum and someone sit down, but I just kept my face down, my hood covering most of it anyway.

"Are you ok?" I heard _his_ voice asked.

What the? He hadn't spoken to me in six months. Now he decides to care.

"Bella?" he asked again.

My eyes were overflowing with tears already. Pathetic, I no, but it hurt so much, and he didn't care.

"Bella, please talk to me? What's wrong?" he pleaded.

Then ager overtook me.

"Why the f**k do you care?!" I hissed.

Hurt was evident on his face. "What?" he asked

"Why the f**k do you care!? I lost everything the day you told me to piss off. What happened to you? You use to care; you use to be the one I ran to when I needed support. You were my best friend. And then you just left. I haven't heard a thing from you in six months. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? To lose everything in one day, just 'cause I fell for you?" my face was covered in tears.

He just sat there, not moving, not blinking; I don't think he was breathing.

"And you wanna no what hurts the most? That fact that I cry myself to sleep over someone as pathetic as you" I whispered in a broken voice. I got up and walked out of the room with everybody staring at me.

I got to my truck, struggling to find my keys in my bag, the tears made it impossible. Finally I found the small metal key and slipped it into the lock, turning it. I slumped in my seat, bringing my knees up to my chest and burying my face in them.

I don't know how long I sat there, just crying and sobbing. Eventually the broken part of me cried itself out. I didn't no where to go, or what to do.

I think I sat there for an hour contemplating. Then my stomach growled. I guess lunch was a good idea, so I got out of the cab, making my way to the cafeteria. When I walked in, no one noticed, thank god. I walked to the line and grabbed a sandwich and a bottle of water. I walked over to my usual table, the one where no one sat unless they were in a fight with there friends.

When the bell rang i got up and dumped my tray and headed to spanish. On the way poeple were staring at me in either pitty or humour. Word had obviously gotten out about my phsyco attack.

As i walked in Mr Banner stopped me.

"Bella, i heard about.. before. I-I think you should maybe go see the school counsellor. Your- Your Dad came in last week, he's really worried about you Bella." he said.

Wait, what? Did he just say my Dad cares? Like hell he does! Never loved me. He just saw me as a burden ever since i moved in.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, my Dad never cared about me." I said, walking to my seat. "And mind your own buisness." I called over my shoulder.

I sat in class with Mr Banner throwing me apologetic glances every now and then.

_Whatever _I thought.

When the bell finally rang I all but ran out the door, dodging three people on my way.

I got half way tp my truck and was stopped by none other then _Alice cullen_, Edwards sister. She was tiny, a pixie really. She had short spikey black hair and was only up to my shoulders. We became really close towards the end of last year, but that went out the window with everything else in my life.

"Hi Bella! How are you?" she asked. Her energetic spirit was catchy at some point in my life, now all it did was make the pain that much worse.

I sighed, putting on my best poker face. "Alice, don't act like you don't know what went on in biology. Please, just leave me alone."

"Oh, uh.. ok. Cya!"

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Chapter 1 **

(Picks up from when Bella has the hissy fit)

_EdwardPOV _

I sat there in shock. I never realised I'd hurt her so much. I mean, I knew I hurt her, it was abvious, but I always thought she would move on. I guess i was way off the mark.

I spent the first three months avoiding I went weird? Into denial, telling myself I hated her. I would make her life hell everyday. Make jokes out of her with my friends, spreading rumours, that kind of stuff, I 'spose in between my facade, I never really saw what I was doing to her.

_*Flashback*_

_"Hi" Bella said shyly, sitting down next to me. _

_I was with all of my friends. They all knew what happened last week, and they told me i should just leave her alone, and that's what I had to do, I had to hurt Bella. I had been planning what I was going to say for the past three days now. _

Well, here goes nothing.. _I thought._

_"Can I help you?" I asked her in the coldest tone possible._

_"Um, what?" She asked, confused._

_"Can I help you? Why are you sitting here?" _

_"Because we always sit together at lunchtime?" She said, confusion coloured her tone._

_Everyone was snickering by this point, but my brothers, Emmett and Jasper, were looking at me with sadness in there eyes._

_I took a deep breath and let it all out._

_"Yeah, but I don't want you sitting here, or talking to me. At all. Now can you do us both a Favour and piss off? i siad my voice as cold as ice._

_The hurt on her face was almost enough to make me want to hold her in my arms and tell her I was sorry. Alice said this was exactly the thing she was afraid of happening._

_"Wha- why are you doing this?" her voice broke at the end._

_"Because we don't want you here, and we don't want you to come back" Everyone, including me said in unison._

_She put a hand up to her mouth to try and stiffle a sob, but it broke through anyway. _

_And with that, she got up and left._

_*End flashback*_

I 'spose when you look back on it you really see how much pain she was in, i just didn't see it back then because i didn't _want_ to see it.

When the bell rang for lunch I practically ran to the cafeteria. I grabbed a tray of food, not really caring what it was, and sat down at my usual table. Soon after my brothers and sisters joined me. Jasper and Alice sat down across from me and Emmett and Rosalie next to them.

"Dude, you look like a mess, what's up?" Emmett asked. Everyone nodded in agreement.

Alice giggled and answered for me. ""Bella"

"Oh." Was all they said.

We ate quietly for a while, then Jasper popped the question i really didn't want to answer.

"So.. What happened?" He asked casually.

"Um.. When i went into biology after seeing Bella trip I asked her.." I continued with a full explanation of it all.

By then end of it, Alice was about to cry. Bella was her best friends, they were almost as close as Bella and I were. Rose was just giving me a death glare that said 'I told you so'. Jasper and Emmett just gave me knowing half smiles.

"That's it, I can't handle it. I told you you were taking everything away from her. I'm going to talk to her and.. and" Alice was sobbing uncontrolably and couldn't finish her sentence. Jasper wrapped his arms around her tiny shaking form.

I sighed. "I know what I did, and I know what I caused. I just, I don't know what to do. She thinks I don't care, but I never stopped caring. I jus-" Rose cut me off from my rambling.

"You didn't see it, did you?" She asked.

"See what?"

She sighed, in either fustration or anger, I don't know. "When she asked you out, it wasn't just some spur of the moment thing or a silly little crush. She loves you, and she still does."

"But.. Wait, what?"

"She loves you! Oh my god! How did you not see it!?" Rose hissed.

"Uh.. I.. Uh..." I couldn't form a proper sentence. I was still trying to register the fact that Bella loved- loves - me.

Emmett chuckled. "Wow, you no, for the smart one in family, you were pretty stupid not to see it.

I wasn't paying attention to him, or anyone else for that matter. I was still in shock and denial.

_She loves me. _I thought.

**(A/N) **don'y hate me. its my first fanfic.

so let me know what you think?

lovez youz. ^.^

lauren xoxo


	2. Like Never Before

**Chapter 2 **

**Like never before**

It had been 4 days since my.. Outburst. Things returned to normal pretty quickly; Edward ignoring or making jokes about me. And me totally invisible, again, the way I liked it. So I was suprised to see a small familiar red subaru in our drive way when I got home from school.

Renee.

I hurried my way inside, curious as to what was waiting for me there. When I opened the front door I heard footsteps up stairs, then voices. I edged my up the stairs, one step at a time, trying to hear what they were saying without being noticed.

".. She's not happy here," I heard Charlie say.

"You promised me you would look after her until phil got out. I can't handle her right now, what with phil making little progress and me working two jobs to pay for it.." Renee trailed off.

"I.. I just don't know what to do anymore Renee. I feel so hopeless. All of her friendships have fallen apart. I can't even tell her how much I'm worried about her becuase I'm afraid of what she will do," he said, sounding defeated.

"H- have you ever told her you love her?" Renee asked. _Trust her to be blunt about it, _I thought.

"N- no I haven't actually," he answered.

"Well that's what she needs right now. Some love. I know you have a hard time expressing your feelings, but you're gonna have to this time 'round. She's lonley, I can see that and I haven't seen her in 7 months."

I heard Charlie sigh. I thought now would be a good time to 'appear'. I walked the few steps to the top of the stairs, acting like I hadn't heard anything, looking at my feet. When I rounded the corner, I was a little shocked at the sight I found. Charlie was sitting on my bed crying, with Renee sitting next to him, holding his hand in comfort.

_Crying? That is deffinently something you don't see everyday. _I thought.

No-one had noticed me yet. "Uh.. Hi Dad.. Mom?!" I squealed, trying to seem excited. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Hey baby!" She squealed, but it was a little off. She got up and ran to give me a hug, I squeazed her back fiercly.

"What are you doing here?" I repeated, sounding suspicious.

She giggle in my ear, pulling back, "what? Can't a mother come and visit her daughter?" She asked, sarcasm light in her tone.

I just smiled at her. I hadn't seen Renee in what felt like forever. I missed her, she was always like my bestfriend. When she met Phil we drifted apart. That was _part_ of the reason I moved in with Charlie.

"Are you staying long?" I asked.

"Um.. No I'm not. I'm leaving now actually. I'm sorry. I have to pick up Phil tomorrow," she gave me a kiss on the cheek and another short hug. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay sweetie? I'm sorry. I'm in a rush."

"But.. you just got here? Why are you going so soon?" I asked, gripping her hand.

"I have to pick up Phil tomorrow," she said, turning towards the door.

"Right. Put your junkie boyfriend before your daughter anyday. Not like I need you," I muttered sarcatically under my breath, not meant for anyone to hear, but both Renee and Charlie heard me. Renee gasped, spun around and stared at me.

"What did you just say?" She asked.

"I said, Right, Put your junkie boyfriend before your daughter anyday. Not like I need you." I said, my tone like ice.

"Ho- Wha- Hu-.." She stuttered a few times before she paused, took a deep breath, and started again. "You knew?" She asked.

I looked at her incrediously. "Ofcourse I knew. How stupid do you think I am?" I spat,"The 'green tobaco leaves'? Seriously? I only made it look like I bought all of that shit you said so you'd think I didn't know, like you were actually protecting me," I started yelling at the end.

"Baby, I- I'm sorr-," she started apolagizing, but I didn't care.

"Cut the shit Mum. If you were sorry you would have told me in the first place, not wait for me to figure it out myself. And incase you're wondering how I found out, you left the rahab bill on the table. No wonder you could barley afford to buy food," I spat

Charlie cleared his throat, I'd almost completly forgotten he was in the room up until now. "Um, didn't you say you were leaving, Renee?" Charlie asked.

Renee didn't say anything, she just turned and left. Defeated. That was.. different. Renee was always the type to stand up for herself and what she belived in. This time.. Well, she did, but what she believed in was simply wrong. She didn't know everything that happened when she was at work at night time, what he did when he was off his face. And as far as I was concerned a week ago, she would never know. Now.. I didn't know what to think.

I heard her car start and drive away. With a sigh, I sat down on my bed. Charlie sat down next to me. I looked up at him, and he looked back.

"We're a pretty messed up family arn't we? Mum's a lying coward who loves her husband more then her own child. Phil's a junkie and a-" I cut myself off before I went any further. Charlie looked suspicious, but didn't ask. Instead, I took the conversation in a different direction, my eyes were stinging with tears already. "Dad, what did you mean when you said you didn't think it would be the best thing for me if I lived here? Am I that much of a burden?" _Do you really hate me that much? _I added in my head.

"You heard that?" He asked. I nodded my head a 'yes'. I didn't trust my voice. He suddenly looked horrified. "I didn't mean it that way Bells. It's just. Wh- What's been happening. I thought you might be better living with your mother, feel more at home. Ever since you and the Cullens," I winced at the name, but he went on as if I had done nothing, " stopped being friends, you were completely different. I miss that. You were so full of life, so happy. Now your.. The opposite. You don't even listen to music anymore." He looked so helpless. I couldn't help it, I threw my arms around his neck, squezing him tightly.

"Love you, Bells." He whispered.

"Love you too, Dad" I said.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry! This isn't a third chapter.

Just to answer a question i got:

The hales and the rest of the cullens dont actually hate bella, they dont talk to her and 'act' like they do, for edwards sake. Its kind of like in new moon how alice cant say goodbye. If you get what i mean lol.

And also, i need ideas. it took me forever to comeup with chapter two, i have idea for chaper four, i just need some for chapter three. So that would be great.

thanks xoxo

lauren

(p.s. Review chapter 2! =D )


	4. Unbelieveable

**Sorry it took so long to update, school, social life, school, social life, oh and did i mention school, got in the way of everything. anyways.. here's chapter two. enjoy :)**

**___________________________________________________**

**Chapter 2 **

**Unbelievable **

When I got home Charlie's police cruiser was in the driveway.

_Weird, _I thought. _He's never home when I am._

He was usually busy at the station or out on call.

"Dad?" I called out, opening the front door. No answer. "Dad?" I called out again.

"Yeah Bells," He replied from the kitchen.

I headed down the hall into the kitchen to find Charlie sitting at the table. "What are you doing home?" I asked.

"Uh... Have a seat Bells," he said, nodding towards the chair opposite him.

"O...Kay," I said hesitantly, sitting down.

Charlie looked had a mixture of emotions on his face; concern, guilt, nervousness.

_Oh god. He knows. Stupid f**king Mr Banner!_

"Um… your teacher called today… He told me about the… 'Incident' that happened in biology the other day," He said, looking down.

_Time to play the innocent card, _I thought.

"And?" I prompted.

He sighed in defeat. "Well the truth is, I'm worried about you Bells, ever since you two had a… problem, you haven't eaten properly, and you don't go out. I-it scares me." He stuttered the last part.

I felt like my head was going to explode. "W-what do you mean?" I asked.

"I-I'm just trying to help you Bells," he said, and blushed.

_So that's where I got it!? _I thought. I'd always wondered where I got my blushing habit – ok, so maybe it's more of a problem- from. Renee – my mother – never use to blush…

He cleared his throat, hinting that we hadn't finished our conversation.

"So are you going to tell me what happened the other day, or will I have to ask Edward next Tuesday?" he asked.

_Wait… what!? What about next Tuesday!?_

"What about next Tuesday?"

"I didn't mention that did I?" he asked, looking guilty.

"Noo… care to explain?" I asked.

"Uh… The Cullens invited us over for dinner... So I accepted it," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

_Great… a whole dinner with Edward and Alice and Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper… nothing better! _I though sarcastically.

"And why would you do that?" I asked, irritated.

"I thought it would be a good way for you and all of the kids to bond again. You use to be so close with them all, so I said yes. What harm could it do Bells?" he asked.

"Hmm gee, I dunno Dad, a fork in some ones eye or food on the wall," I said sarcastically.

"Bella," he said in a disapproving tone. "Don't start. You're going whether you like it or not, so I suggest you try getting closer to them between now and then."

"Kinda difficult to do Dad," I said in defeat.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before he finally asked the dreaded question.

"What did go on between you and Edward? You were such good friends..?" he trailed off questionably.

"Uhm. Long story..?" I asked, trying to dodge the inevitable.

"Bella." He all but growled.

_Shit! _I thought, _how am I going to get out of this?_

_**You can't, **_a little voice in my head said.

I sighed in exasperation. "I don't know where to start. We were great, then without any warning, I was in love with him. I waited a while to see if my feelings were right, true, and they were, so I thought, what the heck, I'm not losing anything by asking him to be my boyfriend. So I did. Then- obviously- he flipped out. Tried to let me down easily. I thought that we would still be friends, so I didn't show him how much he hurt me. But he had different plans, and they didn't involve me. At the same time I lost him, I lost the rest of his family." When I finished I realised how messed up this was.

I looked up to see Charlie staring at me in pity and sadness. And I could've sworn the was excitement and doubt too.

"Say something?" I begged after an impeccably long amount of nothing.

"I have to go to work early tomorrow morning, so I won't see you until tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to bed. Night Bells," he said walking up the stares.

"You've got to be fucking joking me!" I muttered under my breath.

I wasn't hungry, and I needed to clear my head, so I decided to go for a walk. When I opened the door I realised it was raining. But I didn't care, I needed to get away from reality. I walked to the end of my road, not realising I'd walked the _whole way_. I looked back towards the house, then towards the sky, it was getting dark. So I started running back to the house.

__________________________________________________________________

The first thing I noticed when I pulled into the school parking lot was three cars, a red BMW, M3, a big red jeep and a silver Volvo. I gulped, knowing I was going to have to face them. Next Tuesday would be bad enough, so I might as well try at school.

I decided that I was going to try and talk to Alice first; she would be the easiest, I would save Edward for last. I grabbed my bag and slipped out of my car, I looked around to see Edward and all his friends talking. I looked towards Emmett's jeep to see Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett talking while sneaking quick glances in my direction. It was obvious that they were talking about Tuesday's dinner event.

I tried to smile confidently there way, but it came out timid. Alice started walking towards me, smiling brightly until she got within a few feet of me.

"Hi Alice. Just the person I wanted to speak to actually," I said, my confidence surprising both me and Alice.

"Same actually. Um, Carlisle and Esme told us _all _about next Tuesday night and I was wondering if.. maybe we could catch up sometime before that, we have alot of things to discuss," she replied.

"Uh.. yeah. I was actually going to ask you the same question," I said, a little dazed from her little speech.

"Great! Well I got to get to class, you should sit with us at lunch," she suggested.

"Yeah, sure, I guess. Wait, will Edward be there?"

"Um. Maybe, but don't worry about him," her eyes tightened at the mention of her brother. With that, she walked towards her first class.

____________________________________________________________________

Lunch came all too quickly for me. Finding Alice in the lunchroom wasn't too hard, she all but jumped me when I enetered the cafeteria.

Alice plopped herself down next to Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett came within 30 seconds of sitting down.

"Bella!" Emmett said, sounding like a little kid on christmas morning. He wore a massive grin, the dimples in his cheeks promonent.

"Hi Emmett," I said timidly.

Rosalie giggled and kissed his cheek. I never really understood how they could be brother and sisters, yet be romantic was until Alice explained. Jasper and Rosalie are twins, from a broken home. Alice and Emmett met them when they were visiting family in Alaska, Alice fell inlove with Jasper, Emmett with Rosalie. When Carlisle and Esme found out what was happening to them at home, they adopted the two. They've been together since.

Rose looked at me and smiled, "you'll have to excuse him, he's happy to have his 'squirt' back," she laughed.

I blushed and looked at my tray of food. Did they really want to be my friends, or were they only doing this to appease the adults? Then, what I'd been dreading all day sat at the table. Edward. He greeted everyone, pausing when he got to me, looking absolutely shocked and horrified. I looked at Alice, she winking at me mouthing 'mess with his mind'. At that i had to laugh. We were always doing that to the boys back in the day.

I mustered up all of my confidence and turned towards him, leaning closer. "Hi Edward, how are you?" Talking as if the last 6 months hadn't happened.

He looked at me for a minute, then turned to Alice glaring at her. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" He spat. And there goes my confidence.. Alice glared at him, looking as if she was ready to pounce. I stood up, grabbing my bag and tray.

"Alice, don't. It's not his fault. I'll see you when I see you," I said, my voice thick with tears.I turned to leave when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see who it was.

"You don't have the leave because this cock-block over here said so, stay," Rose pleaded.

"No, it's fine really, I have.. stuff to do anyway," I lied quickly.

"I'll call you tonight and we'll organize," she hesitated, looking at Edward, "that thing," she finished lamely.

"Kay, seeya." I took one last look at Edward and left.

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**Okayy.. soo.. review?**

**like it? hate it? **

**xoxo lauren**


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